No hair..don't care...

So I knew it would happen at some point but I wasn't expecting it to happen this soon. Today we went to church and I wore my wig. It was fine a little itchy but nothing that I couldn't handle. After church we decided to do some grocery shopping as a family.... which is always a fabulous time with 3 kids (insert sarcasm). Anyway, I decided to take off my wig in the car cause my head was a little irritated..the impending hair loss is looming and I needed to scratch my head. So I put on this cute turban thing for grocery shopping. In the store my head was still annoying me so I removed the turban and went about my shopping. My kids don't really care about the hair either way so it was all good. Anyhow, I  told the boys we could pick something sweet to make so we headed to the baking aisle.  As we were standing there arguing about which sprinkles to top our sugar cookies with this man and women walk past and I hear him say " nice haircut" I turned my head and he is looking over his shoulder right at me. I think to myself you can't be talking to me ..oh no he was and he said it like such an a**hole that the look on my face must have told him exactly what was going through my head. I turned back around ignoring him only he didn't get the point and he continues talking " what? do you have cancer or something?" OMG! Dude stop eff'ing talking is all I can think. I turned around and said "yes, breast cancer." The lady with him turns around and looks at me with the dumbest look I have ever seen on her face. It took everything I had in me to not whip the baking mix box at both of them but I didn't. Instead I turned around and just stared at the shelf. The boys were still fighting about red, blue or yellow sprinkles..totally not noticing the two idiots that caused their Mom to stand there frozen in disbelief that that moment just happened....one moment that I will never forget.

 Here is the thing though I could have said a lot of other stuff and I wish I had but it wouldn't have been anything nice and truthfully those two don't deserve the emotional energy I would have exerted expressing myself towards them. What he  did realize was that  yes, I have cancer....but he doesn't know that cancer doesn't have me and I am fighting with everything I have to beat this and live my life not just survive but thrive after all this is done. I will never be the same, I am better than the old me. I used to think I was empathetic but now I know I truly am.  Also, your opinion of my "haircut" didn't bother me but your brazen careless words in front of my boys ravaged me with such a fierce anger but then I realized you sir will always be a moron. Im sure your days are filled with careless comments and you have no filter for your brain but its ok I am ok. Your words were just that words...thoughtless words. I sir am a fighter and women who is facing a terrible disease head on and proving to herself, her children and her loved ones that you are capable of digging deep ...super deep and finding parts of yourself that you didn't know existed when you are forced to. I will come out of this storm better than I entered...actually my entire family will.  So yes, I have no hair but you know what either does my husband and my two favorite little men because yes sir, I have cancer and cancer  blows..big time... but  what you do not know is how loved and lucky I am.  So instead of whipping the box of cookie mix at you I said a small prayer for you on my way home...Im not going to lie...my teeth were slightly gritted at the time but I did it because you are the least of my worries and although I was shocked by your words I wasn't hurt... far from it. So anyways back to more important things we decided on blue and yellow sprinkles..... and least no one has to worry about hair in the baking mix this year ........